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Should “sleeping through the night” be a goal?

The entire idea of Scout and sleeping makes me nervous. I will admit that I feel much more comforted in this with Michael and I deciding on co-sleeping, feeling confident this will give us all more closeness and rest, but still I worry that I don’t really know just how Scout will sleep and what that entire thing will look like. Enter Dr. Sears, who I have mentioned before on vaccinations and Attachment parenting, with an excellent article on the topic of infant sleep.

I especially liked this comment of Dr. Sears: “An important fact for you to remember is that your baby’s sleep habits are more a reflection of your baby’s temperament rather than your style of nighttime parenting. And keep in mind that other parents usually exaggerate how long their baby sleeps, as if this were a badge of good parenting, which it isn’t. It’s not your fault baby wakes up. ”

Here are some tid-bits I really appreciated, mainly because I used to feel nervous that my baby would not “sleep through the night” like other parents I  heard, but now I have learned that this should never be a goal of new parents for lots of reasons, including the safety and health of your baby:

“Babies don’t sleep as deeply as you do. Not only do babies take longer to go to sleep and have more frequent vulnerable periods for nightwaking; they have twice as much active, or lighter, sleep as adults.”

“Nightwaking has survival benefits. In the first few months, babies’ needs are the highest, but their ability to communicate their needs is the lowest. Suppose a baby slept deeply most of the night. Some basic needs would go unfulfilled. Tiny babies have tiny tummies, and mother’s milk is digested very rapidly.”

Nightwaking has developmental benefits. Sleep researchers believe that babies sleep “smarter” than adults do. They theorize that light sleep helps the brain develop because the brain doesn’t rest during REM sleep….During the light sleep stage, the higher centers of the brain keep operating, yet during deep sleep these higher brain centers shut off and the baby functions on her lower brain centers. It is possible that during this stage of rapid brain growth (babies’ brains grow to nearly seventy percent of adult volume during the first two years) the brain needs to continue functioning during sleep in order to develop”

“Babies still wake up. When babies mature into these adult-like sleep patterns varies among babies. Yet, even though babies achieve this sleep maturity some time during the last half of the first year, many still wake up. The reason? Painful stimuli, such as colds and teething pain, become more frequent. Major developmental milestones, such as sitting, crawling, and walking, drive babies to “practice” their new developmental skills in their sleep. Then between one and two years of age, when baby begins to sleep through the above-mentioned wake-up stimuli, other causes of nightwaking occur, such as separation anxiety and nightmares. “

Baby Shower fun!

This past Saturday my mom and Step mom, Kim through me the most gorgeous shower back in Phoenix! It was a ton of fun and so lovely. I have included as many pics as I could below without boring everyone!

My dear friend Jen and me!

My dear friend Jen and me!

Beautiful floral arrangements and tea setting

Beautiful floral arrangements and tea setting

Isn't this the neatest knot-chair-thing you have ever seen!?

Isn't this the neatest knot-chair-thing you have ever seen!

Individual party favors - a sprinkle cupcake for each guest!

Individual party favors - a sprinkle cupcake for each guest!

"tea" party, with iced and hot tea beverages!

My sister nicole and step mom Kim

My sister nicole and step mom Kim

My dear friend Rachael and me!

My dear friend Rachael and me!

My lovely mom and me

My lovely mom and me

My sister in law Mindy and me!

My sister in law Mindy and me!

my wonderful mother in law and sister in law!

my wonderful mother in law and sister in law!

My mom coordinating the "string" game to measure my belly!

My mom coordinating the baby string game to measure my belly!

Opening presents - always fun!

Opening presents - always fun!

My massive Timi and Leslie diaper bag - i LOVE it - so cute!

My massive Timi and Leslie diaper bag - i LOVE it - so cute!

Yummy tea sandwiches and other salads and treats!

Yummy tea sandwiches and other salads and treats!

some of the yummy desserts!

some of the yummy desserts!

Dad, Kim and me. Dad just came back from Bear hunting!

Dad, Kim and me. Dad just came back from Bear hunting!

Jumping on the trampoline afterwards. Don't worry, its buried in-the-ground so I couldn't fall. But I am sure I wasn't supposed to do this anyways....

Jumping on the trampoline afterwards. Don't worry - it a buried trampoline so I couldn't fall off. But I am sure I wasn't supposed to do this anyways!

 

Rach, me, and Jen. Somehow I always end up in a jumping photo...

Rach, me, and Jen. Somehow I always end up in a jumping photo...

Sister nicole and me before the shower. She is so tall now!

Sister nicole and me before the shower. She is so tall now!

Sojourn Music new CD - out next Friday!

Michael and I are so blessed to serve and be members with an awesome community and Southern Baptist Church here in Louisville, Sojourn Community Church. Its also affiliated with the Acts 29 Network as well, which I would encourage you to check out if you haven’t already. At Sojourn, we are all about the Gospel, and seeing the message of the death, burial, and resurrection of Christ transform lives and everything in our world. “God created the world. We, his creatures, rebelled, but God, in unfathomable grace, sent His Son, Jesus, as the sacrifice for our sins. Through faith in Jesus, we have been forgiven of our sins, welcomed as sons and daughters, and empowered by His Spirit to live lives that reflect his goodness and love. This is the gospel. This is our core passion, and the source from which all of our other desires and ministries flow.”

Sojourn Music has done several CD’s over the years as part of their music ministry - which is amazing by the way. Their latest CD “Over the Grave“ is a complilation of songs based on Isaac Watts hymns and is releasing this Friday with a concert here in Louisville at Southeast Christian Church on the 19th.

You can hear and check out more songs of their facebook site too!

Watch here one of the songs from Advance 09′ - listen to the whole thing - its great! Sojourn Music - \”Absent from Flesh\”

Mindy’s Wedding

Wow - I have been out awhile! We went to Phoenix two weeks ago for Mindy’s wedding. Mindy is Michael sister and she and Matt just got married! Yay! We had a great time visiting with family and friends in sunny AZ - here are a few pics if you haven’t seen them already on Facebook!

After the ceremony!

After the ceremony!

 

Mindy's gorgeous dress!

Mindy

Michael giving them a charge to live out the Gospel in their marriage

Michael giving them a charge to live out the Gospel in their marriage

My wonderful in-laws!

My wonderful in-laws!

my lovely mom and me - she helped me plan Mindy's shower!

my lovely mom and me - she helped me plan Mindy's shower!

The cake at Mindy's shower

The cake at Mindy's shower

for the bingo game at the shower, people used these to "vote"

for the bingo game at the shower, people used these to vote for Matt or Mindy when I asked questions!

the party favors, assorted red candies, I ordered the labels

the party favors, assorted red candies, I ordered the labelsthe umbrella I did - saw the umbrella, had to have it for the shower!Michael and me before the after wedding dinner!

Baby Shower Invites = AMAZING!

Wow. That’s all I can say. Thanks to the calligraphy genius of Betsy Dunlap - I seriously have the neatest baby shower invites ever. You can too - just check out Betsy’s blog and shoot her an email - she will create the most awesome invitations you have ever seen for any event you have! Here are some pics from my invite that came today! Shout out to mom and Kim for hosting the shower in Phoenix - super excited!

What exactly is co-sleeping?

Like most of the things I have been learning in the past couple of years, when I first heard of co-sleeping I thought “ew, that’s weird”. But as I have been slowly learning and allowing the Lord to open my mind and my heart about things that I used to previously be judgmental about such as co-sleeping, I  have been surprised at what I have been learning. So… I thought I would share, because Michael and I are actually really excited about this aspect of parenting….

What is co-sleeping?

We aren’t as familiar with co-sleeping here in the US, partially  because we have in the past few decades grown up with the idea that kids must have their own room, and their own crib. Space and money are other reasons as well. I agree with Dr. Sears that in our Western society, co sleeping has become very “taboo”, so, parents that often do engage in it, don’t like to talk much about it.

Dr. Sears writes that “Sharing sleep involves more than a decision about where your baby sleeps. It is a mindset, one in which parents are flexible enough to shift nighttime parenting styles as circumstances change. ” All that to say, co-sleeping is more about learning your child and being flexible with how your baby and your nightime parenting will look. Sounds good to me so far….

 

Why co-sleep?

Studies have continually shown that co-sleeping children breath better, have much fewer reported cases of SIDS, and parents say they feel closer and more connected to their babies when they co-sleep. Co-sleeping babies breastfeed more, but mothers reported that they did not miss more sleep. You can read more about the benefits of co-sleeping here.

 

What does co-sleeping actually look like?

There are different ways to co-sleep from the families I have talk to and the articles I have read. Here are the few I know about. Michael and I are planning to use the arms’ reach co-sleeper that I pictured above.

1. Arms Reach or other brand of co-sleeper - this attaches to your bed, and is like a basinett but it appears to be more secure and baby can stay in it longer.

2. Pillow-roll co-sleeper - This is like a long round pillow with a type of blanket attached. You put this at the edge of your bed, and then you lay on the blanket part. Your body secure the blanket and pillow, and baby is secure and can’t fall off bed.

3. Snuggle Nests - This is a u-shaped device that has a top, and two sides. The bottom is open so baby can grow, although the babies I have seen in this are pretty small. This seems like it would get constricting after awhile, but you could put it between you and your spouse, or on the edge of the bed without the baby falling off.

4. Just put baby in the middle! - this doesn’t require anything, you just put the baby between you and your spouse on the bed. Several parents I know do this and think its super easy and convenient.

Fears

My first fear in hearing this was how would I not roll over on the baby?  From most everything I have heard and read, this isn’t really a concern unless you have been drinking or use drugs at sleep. Otherwise, just like you are aware of a spouse in your bed, you are aware of baby, and its just not an issue once you actually do it and are aware of how it works. This wouldn’t be an issue for an atached co-sleeper like Arm’s reach, which again is what we decided on.

Another fear was personal time between my husband and I. Again, I have heard that this is not really a problem as just like anyone with kids learns, time spent between husband and wife may happen at available times, and not just at night. It needs to be a priority regardless if you are co-sleeping with your child or not. Also - babies are small and don’t always have to be directly in the bed with you at all times should you decide to spend some time with your spouse that is “adults only”.

Some projects as we await Mr. Scout…

Now that school is finished I have really gone into nesting mode - but I am so thankful for this! In the last two nights I have cleaned and reorganized the kitchen pantry, as well as a plethora of other things around the house. I am happy to be doing this now as I could easily see it getting more difficult in a month or two!

We are also trying to finish up Scout’s room/ one of our guest bedrooms ( we don’t want him to be spoiled so his bedroom will also be shared with guests and of course another sibling in a year or two…) which is fun, but also kind of stressful. I honestly hate the question of “how are you decorating Scout’s room” not because we aren’t, or because its not going to be cool, but its just that thing lately about having to like completely re-do a room for a baby. I don’t know, its frustrating but I also know there is no harm in the question. At least the room is going to be pretty gender neutral, and will work for our next child (maybe adopted from India or China, Lord willing we will see!!!).

Oh- and don’t worry, I will post pics up of the room when its done, hopefully so I can tell you how cheap I got everything for so you don’t feel pressured to buy new stuff for your baby room (sneak peak, the only new piece of baby furniture we bought for the entire house was a $50 used crib that came with a mattress, what a deal!).

So - anyhow - here are some pics of the projects I am working on:

Burp Cloths (made with pre-fold cloth diapers) with miss Ashley B. Here are the fabrics we ordered for those, one is kind of whimsical and storybookish, and the other is a more funky and modern:

Next I am making some little birdies which will be used for either a mobile, or 3D wall tree I am doing behind the crib….

And pretty much there are a few things after that, but the next is a bit of decor for the crib, since we are not using a crib bumper. It will look like this, but I am using a few different Amy Butler fabrics instead that are in various shades of green - it will look like this (but my crib does not look like this - that’s for sure!)

The funny thing about me even doing crib decor is that we are planning to use a co-sleeper for the first 6mos - year, so Scout may not have much time in the crib except naps. If you are going “what in the heck is a co-sleeper and that sounds super weird….” just wait, I will post on it in a few…. and, its not weird its pretty neat if you ask michael and me :  )

Graduation - finally!

Friday was a glorious day and I finally graduated with my Master of Divinity from Southern Seminary! Yeah! Rachael came out from Arizona to visit (and yes we did some shopping for baby clothes at the Gap Clearance outlet!) and Dad and nicole came also. We had a GREAT time - here are some pics! A shout out to Michael who has been the most amazing husband and partner throughout this journey. He only has a year or so left of his Phd, one Clark down, one to go!

 

Gorgeous day at Southern Seminary!

Gorgeous day at Southern Seminary!

 

Getting my diploma from Dr. Mohler

Getting my diploma from Dr. Mohler

 

Me and Dr. Chancellor, my prof and Michael's supervisor. His outfit is different (most profs are) because its where they got their PhD from. He got his at Duke

Me and Dr. Chancellor, my prof and Michael

Dad, me, Nicole, Michael

Dad, me, Nicole, MichaelMy pretty stoll! I love the red and yellow satin and velvet, such a girl!

Michael and me at the grad reception at Dr. Mohler's house

Michael and me at the grad reception at Dr. Mohler

 Touring campus with the family...

 

Touring campus with the family…

 

Playing a mean game of dominoes with everyone at Quills coffee, our favorite!

Playing a mean game of dominoes with everyone at Quills coffee, our favorite!

Shower invitations… I can’t WAIT!

I am super excited about a baby shower in AZ this June that my dear mom and step-mom are throwing for me. I must admit, one of the things I am MOST excited about is the fact that THE Miss Betsy Dunlap is doing the calligraphy for the invites. Does it get any cooler than that? 

If you haven’t see Betsy’s work - here are some pics below, but you can also check out her google page and her blog for more. Her work is absolutely spectacular and I am totally excited. I can’t wait to see the finished product!!!! If you have an event coming up - you should totally hire Betsy! She can do it all, from invites to menus to anything else!

It’s a BOY! Scout Judson Clark - here he is!

Everyone! Here are the first pics of our dear baby-en-utero, Scout Judson Clark! BTW - we named him Scout becuase we love the name, and Judson after Adoniram Judson, the first American Baptist Missionary overseas. :  )   If you are looking for an EXCELLENT biography “To the Golden Shore, the Life of Adoniram Judson” , I would highly recommend his biogrpahy to anyone - you won’t be able to put it down…promise!